A tough couple of weeks

I'm missing the love of my life.

Lori died Dec. 17, stricken as she napped on our bed. A heart attack ("mitral valve prolapse") at age 45. Fit, healthy and beautiful, she took great care of her mind and body and was feeling fine that day. Her kids called 911 when she didn't wake. Her daughter, fearing (and probably knowing) the worst about her mom's condition, called me after the EMTs took Lori to the hospital. I was in St. Paul, MN when she called, heading to the airport in Minneapolis. The first real absence since I'd moved in with Lori and the kids in September was ending, and we were all looking forward to our first Christmas and New Year's together.

I love Lori more than words can express. We dated in college and, on re-connecting last year after a couple of decades out-of-touch, we fell back in love instantly and more intensely than ever. I moved from MN to CT in September to be with her permanently, and we planned to grow old together. She was my best friend, my partner, and the most enlightened person I've ever known. The reality of it all hasn't quite sunk in yet, but I miss her so much it hurts.

Lori's private burial service on Dec. 22 was beautiful. The minister was the former pastor of a church Lori attended for many years here in Suffield CT. The pastor has moved on to another church, and Lori, who considered herself a Buddhist but who was very open in her spirituality, had also moved on. Rev. Brenda drew on her knowledge of Lori's wide beliefs to deliver a talk that Lori would have loved. Her readings touched on mindfulness (which Lori taught in meditation classes) and on the native American sense of Spirit, and included a group recitation of the 23rd Psalm. She also spoke to Lori's children, Abby and Ben, about the spark of life that makes us all unique, and the importance of letting it shine. That was something Lori did herself, and that she made her life's work to enable in others -- including her students, coaching clients and, especially, her beautiful, amazing kids.

A Northern Cheyenne musician, Joseph Fire Crow, whose music Lori heard and loved when he performed at her sister's memorial service in 2005, sang and played the flute at Lori's burial. The music was hauntingly beautiful and (to me) mysterious and mournful, but imbued with a lightness because of the flute's airy upward tone. Lori would have been pleased. Lori was laid to rest at Riverside Cemetery in Farmington, CT, in the same plot where her sister is buried. Lori and Marcia are laughing together out there, and sending their joy back our way. It's a little hard to tune it in right now, though. (Grief is like a vacuum cleaner, messing with the reception.) The signal is coming through in bursts, and I'm going to keep listening.

More later on Lori's public memorial service.

Revenge of the Dinosaurs?

Led Zeppelin made its much-hyped (and once-postponed) return to the stage last night in London, and judging from the audience vidclip below, the show was more than just a respectable facsimile of god-hammerdom (much less an embarrassment).  Reviews have been gushing, and I'll cop to getting a chill when I heard Plant's first mighty "Ooooh" in Kashmir (just after 2:00 in the clip).

Every review of the show includes speculation that the foursome (with Foreigner drummer Jason Bonham replacing his departed dad) will tour. My thoughts on that are mixed. I never saw Zep back in the day, and I'd love to see the band in some configuration. On the other hand, I saw The Who, post-Keith Moon and post-Kenney Jones, at Shea Stadium and, while the band's chops were still impressive, there was something mummified about that tour's "big hits" format. (A side effect of Townshend & Co.'s constant reissuing of "Who's Greatest"-style compilations, perhaps?) Without new material to energize themselves, there's a risk of things getting too rote for these old bands. ("Newer" ones too. Exhibit A: The Police.) Zeppelin may have partially been acknowledging this in their decision to unveil a first-time-live number, For Your Life, as part of the reunion set, but new material could be even more inspiring. (Then again, it could suck. Exhibit B: The Stones.)

Still, it'd be cool if the reconfigured Led Zeppelin got together some new songs, and even issued a new album -- maybe co-produced by Jack White or another less-is-more whiz kid -- and then took the new songbook on the road. (You know Plant has some tunes in his notebook, and Page must have whipped up at least a few new riffs in the last decade or so.) Other than that, Plant seems to be taking real good care of himself and his pipes, Jason Bonham is a fine stand-in for his old man, and J.P. Jones is in the pocket. As long as Pagey doesn't misbehave (or wear himself out), it could be a  great tour.

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